Ref Grunt

After I told a man where books on vitamins are located, he began expounding on the ways nutritional supplements have changed his life. "Yeah, you wouldn't believe the hemmorhoids, the constipation I suffered. Nothing in your life can go well when you can't take a good dump, ya know? Now I'm as regular as clockwork. These supplements have cured me of all kinds of illnesses. I tell you, my piss used to be all skunky and yellow, but now it's almost clear and foams like beer! It's really amazing. If you want to discuss what supplements I'm taking sometime - "

"Sir, I'm so happy that those supplements are working for you. I'm sorry, but I've got to help the next person."

Next in line was a man dressed in all black Karate uniform with the name tag "Bernie." "Good day. Can you give me the address of the Church of Satan?"

Then a man complained about another patron drying his penis underneath the hand blow dryer in the men's bathroom.

Next up was a middle aged woman who wanted to put her name on the list for the latest Nora Roberts. She looked middle aged and perfectly average in every way except for a ginger colored mustache, which was groomed and trimmed in perfect rectangle, Hitler style.

A young hipster woman rolled her stroller up to ask about books on meditation. Desperately needing to gaze upon something pure and innocent, I leaned over the counter to coo at her baby. Instead of an infant a large gray rat blinked sleepily up at me. "It's naptime. He's nocturnal!" She beamed with maternal pride as she adjusted its baby blanket cozily over its body.