Saturday, August 11, 2007

We need a jar of RU-486 at the desk 

Image hosted by Photobucket.comNot because I have eugenics fantasies, but because clinical trials "the abortion pill" show promise that it dramatically relieves psychotic episodes. Many people suffering from the worst kind of psychotic delusions have haywire high levels of cortisol, and it appears that RU-486 blocks brain cortisol receptors.

In any case, there would be a lot less of these reference emails that fill my inbox:

HELP ME. I am dying & the charge is murder ONE.
I am at the present am in serious/critical condition due to all-night and/or morning attacks of roach pesticides. Last night I had conscious attrophy and I have shortness of breath. I moved in the ghetto neighborhood known for its' drugs and prostitution. I acquired congestive heart failure shortly after moving in and have been under attack, all along. They have submitted edited video and audio of me reacting to extreme harrassment and to my own personal views on issues of concern. My past has been distorted and I have been kicked out of many places, bogusly. My life was ruined by former enemies, who have followed me here and smeared and slandered me. The Irish yellow bastards are behind what is and has been going on using other creatures who accept blood money.

One of my colleagues told me that she now assumes every patron is mentally ill unless proven otherwise.

A collegue called me out to the reference desk to deliver a basic email instruction handout I had created. The man began to ask me about email and then went into a long story about how he sent an email to the president of Costa Rica outlining his plan for peace, and how the president then appropriated his plan and used it to broker a peace between the United States and Nicaragua and is taking all the credit. Although his delusion seemed harmless, he kept looming over me as he backed me into a corner. He was built like a longshoreman and was beginning to get worked up, so I finally said, "I must go now" and ran like a rabbit for the security of the staff only area.

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Reference Desk Soup 

A weathered, tweaked out woman slapped her copy card down on the desk and demanded a refund for the remaining balance of $.40 because she was “leaving this town forever.”
The librarian told her that she would have to fill out a form for the copy machine vendor before we would issue her a cash refund.

"I don’t have time for that!" she hollered. "You damn people, fucking my life up in every way!" She stalked off, listing a little to the right.

A woman asked for some scotch tape, which she used to remove the lint off of her velvet jacket. “Do you want to hear a little story about loss?” she asked as she angrily affixed and yanked the tape off her jacket. “I just lost 80 years of my family's pictures. She said that it was safe to leave them at the shelter and then she put them out on the curb! This is the same woman who entered in my social security card wrong 4 days in a row, and then acts like she's never seen me before."

“Oooh - sorry to hear that.”

"I mean, I don't appear crazy, do I?"

“Of course not, ma’am.” I replied, figuring a little white lie never hurt anyone.

Two ragged men, the type my grandmother would call hobos, came up to the desk and asked me for books about shipwrecks.

“Any particular shipwrecks, like the Titanic or Andrea Doria, or just shipwrecks in general?”

“Just shipwrecks!” Seeing the little excited boys within these men tugged at my heart.

A man cut through a long line of people and interrupted me and the patron I was trying to help. “I can’t find my book! It’s supposed to be on the shelf and I can’t find it!” I told him to get to the end of the line. He reluctantly did so, oblivious of the glares of collective hate from the others in line. The whole time in line he kept trying to butt in and grab my attention. He huffed and drummed his fingers against his thighs and continued to do other maddening things until his turn came round at last.

“What book are you looking for?” I asked.

"I don't know, it's on my card!"

The book? What does everybody else know that I don't? : social skills help for adults with attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (AD/HD) : a reader-friendly guide.

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