Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Namaste, Motherfucka! 

Image hosted by Photobucket.comAfter a crapulent last few months I'm on a regimen of Krav Maga and Bikram yoga. The different philosophies of these two forms are making me feel like I have a split personality, though, because when I'm at Krav Maga punching or kicking the bag or extricating myself from a stranglehold it's all, "Die, motherfucker, die!!!" and when I'm at yoga it's all about serenity, peace, acceptance and attaining one with the Divine.

If anything, I hope that my yoga practice will mitigate some of the effects of Krav Maga and that I'll reach the beautiful equilibrium of the peaceful warrior. I've noticed that my daydreams have become a lot more violent since I started back on Krav Maga and I'm not sure if it's such a good thing to have physical violence in my repertoire of responses. Not that I would ever go around spoiling for a fight - Krav Maga, or at least what I'm learning at my level, is all about defense - smashing a groin or gouging an eye and then beating a hasty (cowardly) retreat.

And at least I'll have a fighting chance when the zombies come. World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War is the most exhilarating thing I've read in years. Combining two special interests of mine, zombies and Studs Turkel style oral histories, it contains riveting accounts of how ordinary people from all over the world- a soccer mom, a Japanese computer hacker, a Lesotho township shanty town dweller, an Air Force pilot forced to parachute in the Atchafalaya swamp teeming with the hungry, living dead - all survived a zombie war in the near future. Highly recommended.

Love it! I always get the sniper's eye when I start playing my Sniper games on X-Box. It's so hard not to line everyone up in your sights! But yes, at least the yoga will keep you calm and focused as you grind those vampire nuts to fairy dust.
Artie Lang was hilarious on Letterman a few nights ago-
Artie then talks of his Uncle Sonny. Uncle Sonny was confined to bedrest for the last few years of his life and he loved it because he just got to watch TV all day long. He favorite show was Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Artie asked him what the show was about. Uncle Sonny says, in all seriousness, “Jew broad fights Draculas.”
I am one of these people who, in all seriousness, am secretly hoping for a zombie outbreak one day. Though not naive enough to think that it will be a Shaun of the Dead-type laughfest I do hope to do a decent bit of looting while civilisation crumbles and the Undead feast on my loved ones.
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