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Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Visitation 

While I was conked out asleep E heard some sounds from the kitchen that caused her alarm. She went to investigate and heard glass bottles being moved around and knocking against each other. There was also the sound of shuffling feet. My cousin and his girlfriend live below us so she thought they were returning us a favor and making a retributive midnight liquor cabinet raid. (We keep a shotgun filled with rock salt for just such an eventuality.) Their blind black lab, Dixie, also known as the Black Marauder, also makes occasional forays into the kitchen to see if we happened to have left the dog bin unlocked. Because she is blind, she has the advantage at night and usually is as quiet and stealthy as a ninja, so E didn’t think it was her. She flipped on the light and screamed, “Aha!” There was no one in the kitchen but she did see out of corner of her eye a face peeking through the flap of the dog door. She screamed and the head withdrew in a flash like a snapping turtle into its shell. This is a sketch based on E’s description of the intruder-

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Since we don't have any Lucky Charms she allowed herself to be hypnotized and this is the result, a much more accurate description, I believe. It looks like our urban raccoons are back, and they have a taste for liquor, since that’s where they headed first.

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E recently viewed this news report and it must have made her a little suggestible.

Comments:
Having a shotgun filled with rock salt is a good idea, if a little bland. Why not bransh out a little and fill it with flavoured shotgun shells? I'd be tempted to go for the Honey Mustard or the Teriyaki personally.
 
is the raccoon in the first picture wearing a hat? i guess it would make sense, since it's urban and therefore stylish.
 
Flavored shotgun shells - what a wonderful invention. Nothing ruins a big holiday like splitting a tooth on shot, especially lead, which just can't be good for you.
 
Hey, Brian.
The first picture is of a poorly drawn leprechaun that is supposedly terrorizing a community in Mobile, Al.
 
riiiight, gotcha. clearly, i am way too entertained by the idea of a picture of a hat-clad raccoon.
 
My neigbor left her trash on the back steps and that same damn raccoon got into it. You could actually follow its dirty, garbage-encrusted paw prints all the way down the sidewalk. I sent an e-mail letting her know that an animal had gotten into the garbage and asked her to clean it up. She said "Thnx for the info. I thought it was a homeless person." Followed by the kicker "I called the cleaners...should be done today." Must be nice.
 
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