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Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Jane Lynch 

Image hosted by Photobucket.comI finally watched the 40 Year Old Virgin, and I have to say that Jane Lynch is an extremely brilliant improv comedian, and the monologues she delivers are sublimely bizarre and filthy. Besides playing the predatory lesbian lawyer on the L Word and Steve Carell's floor manager in 40 Year Old Virgin , she has appeared in several of Christopher Guest's productions. Here is her monologue from A Mighty Wind, in which she portrays a wholesome member of the New Main Street Folk Singers who was saved from a life of sin and seediness by the musical group. This monologue is mostly improvised. Of course this transcript cannot capture the strange intensity in which she delivered it, but I still find reading it hilarious.

Her husband, "It's odd that Laurie came from such a different--"

"Right. A completely different path. I was brought up in a very small town, south of the Chicago city limits. Just far enough away to have been peopled with pure, unadulterated white trash. And because I was one of so many children, I don't believe that anyone noticed...when I blew town at 15 and ended up in San Francisco, California.

And it's at this point in my story that the dark clouds part...because I met a certain Mr. Wiseman, who gave me a job in his shop. And before Long, he tapped me to do some small roles...in some of his short films for more mature audiences. And before Long, I had landed, if you will, some leads...and then I started to do some cameos. Well, I was known for doing a certain thing...that many of the other girls wouldn't do.

Of course, I loved to sing, ever since I was a little girl. And I learned to play the ukulele in one of my last films, Not So Tiny Tim. And based on that, my world opened up...because I was invited to join the re-formed New Main Street Singers.

And that's where I met my man, and before Long I was the new Mrs. Bohner.

Ain't that something?

-A beautiful story. -I tell you.

In the 40 year old Virgin, she plays Steve Carell's manager, who corners him on the sales floor to make a peculiar and uncomfortable offer. Watching Steve Carell's face transform from severe discomfort to extreme terror to utter despair makes this one of the funniest scenes in the movie.

After sidling up to him, "You ever heard of the term "fuck buddy"?"

"What?"

"It's a special friend...who you fuck."

"No, haven't heard that term."

"When I was a little girl, I developed early. By the time I was fourteen I had this body you're looking at. Can you imagine that?"

"I don't want to, no."

"Well, needless to say, I got a lot of male attention."

"Like men, yes."

"Especially from our Guatemalan gardener, Javier."

"Okay."

"You know, Javier...before he made passionate yet gentle love to me for the first time...he serenaded me with a beautiful old Guatemalan love song."

"Really, that's...That sounds nice."

She stares into his eyes and serenades him tenderly in Spanish. All I caught was the last bit of the song, which I swear to God was "un equipo de futbol" (soccer team)

"Okay."

Fanning herself to cool herself down, "My goodness. I think we better get back to work."

"Yeah."

Comments:
Not to be pedantic, but "un equipo de futbol" is actually a soccer team.
 
DUH - you're right. I got distracted at the ref desk.
 
Slightly more succinct, but equally memorable - again due to the delivery - is the description of her family life from Best In Show, ending with her mom's contribution:

she was there for the unconditional love and it worked for my family, you know... until my mom committed suicide in '81.
 
The "beautiful, old Guatemalan love song" translates to:

When they clean my room,
I can't find anything.
Where are you going in such a hurry?
...To a footbal game.
 
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