Air Bud

There is a seldom used staff exit hidden away on one of the sides of this large building. The door opens from the inside of the building to a small, unobtrusively recessed space facing the street. The door’s hydraulic control system is either malfunctioning or needs to be adjusted, because when someone going outside the building pushes the door, no matter how gently, it will swing violently outward. Yesterday one of my colleagues stepped out through this side door of the building and surprised a man who had tucked into the alcove to get out of the wind so he could roll himself a joint. The man was squatting and the heavy door slammed into him. The impact knocked all of the marijuana loose out of the man’s hands and he screamed, “Goddamnit, MAN!” He then began dropped to all fours and began frantically searching the ground for his lost drugs. That space is the perfect little grotto for all sorts of activities, so the ground is sticky and glutinous as flypaper with urine and spilled 40s and God knows what other kind of street sludge. Most of the marijuana remained trapped in it so he was able to recover a good portion of it, and he didn’t look like the overly fastidious type who would have any qualms about smoking it.

Another colleague surprised a man peeing into a Pringles can in that space, but the man nimbly avoided being hit by the door. Too bad the door missed, because it would have served him right to have urine splash all over him. I mean, there’s a public bathroom in the library he could have used!