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Friday, October 01, 2004

Churchill's Wit and Wisdom 

Despite being burdened by large student loan debts after graduate school, I spent my entire first bonus on the complete collection of National Lampoon , and will always consider it money well spent. Now some of the classics are available on the internet. Here is one of my favorite pieces on the wit and wisdom of Churchill. After I had heard the real tales about 40 times by pretentious college boys trying to be the height of sophisticated wit, and had even seen the "you'll still be ugly" one on a fraternity shirt, something about the blunt crudeness of the National Lampoon versions killed me.

Churchill was known to drain a glass or two and, after one particularly convivial evening, he chanced to encounter Miss Bessie Braddock, a Socialist member of the House of Commons, who, upon seeing his condition, said, "Winston, you're drunk." Mustering all his dignity, Churchill drew himself up to his full height, cocked an eyebrow and rejoined, "Shove it up your ass, you ugly c*nt."

Here’s another good parody, from Othercrap.com.

After Gulliani compared George W. Bush to Churchill:

Once at an elegant dinner party when the future president still enjoyed imbibing some recreational beverages, George Bush said to Janet Reno, “You’re ugly,” whereupon the grand dame replied, “You’re drunk, George.” The Churchillian Texan smiled, “But in the morning I will still be drunk. Wait, that ain’t right. I mean it is right, but that ain’t what I meant to say. In the morning…fool me twice…. You can’t get fooled twice, you see.”

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