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Wednesday, August 25, 2004

Back in the USsssA 

I am deranged from jetlag, and still have not recovered from Lufthansa having the gall to show Garfield, The Movie on the 9 hour flight to Frankfurt AND the return flight. (Elizabeth asked, "Doesn't that violate some sort of international law to show the same movie both ways?") The worst part of the experience, besides kicking myself for not having rationed my feelgood pills wisely, was having to listen to the middle aged man sitting behind me laughing imbecilically throughout the entire movie at that orange CGI nightmare.

After Garfield, The Movie,  Lufthansa treated us to some Euro music videos, including the British boy band Westside's completely unnecessary remake of that musical abortion Uptown Girl. In the updated version, Claudia Schiffer replaces Christie Brinkley as the higher caste blonde.

The two Russian airliners that crashed left on the same day from the same Moscow airport as I did. Terrorism is suspected, most likely explosives, and bodies still strapped into airliner seats rained down over some town, just like Lockerbie. I remember reading that several of the Lockerbie victims found on the ground in their seats had their fingers still tightly crossed. Two young women found intact in their seats had their arms wrapped around each other as well as their fingers crossed, which haunts me. Now it can haunt you, too. Sorry.

I promise a more upbeat and coherent entry tomorrow. Russia was another world, and my trip there was a life altering experience, althought our tour group was senescent and crotchety with little patience for our rambunctious, unwieldly group of 11, which included several teenagers with access to unlimited vodka for the first times in their tender young lives. I think the average age on the cruise ship was 70, hailing mostly from the Midwest. It's like a ship full of 180 variations of Alfred and Enid Lambert from The Corrections. On no less than three occasions some straggler from our group held the bus up, throwing off our carefully and tightly scheduled tours. One thing is certain: our tour group would have fragged us if they weren't so old and enfeebled.

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