The Street Sheet

Punky and the Very Special Birthday Present



A beat cop spotted Punky skulking toward the alley behind this neighborhood’s Catholic elementary school. Acting on a hunch, the cop trailed him into the alley, where she caught Punky on his knees in flagrante delicto  performing an 807 (lewd and obscene public act) on another local park regular. They were doing this in full view of the rear of the school, which is lined with large paned windowed classrooms full of children. Punky, the height of discretion.



When the police officer asked Punky what he thought he was doing, Punky replied, “Well, it’s John’s birthday and I wanted to give him a present.” The police officer made sure to wish John a happy birthday as she booked them both.