Wednesday, January 14, 2004
After careful observation I’ve accepted that the last member of my sea monkey colony has died and their aquarium home is bereft of life. Although tragic, there’s also a fitting symmetry since the inventor, evil marketing genius (and right wing nutcase) Harold von Braunhut, also died recently.
Elizabeth gave me the tiny crustacean kit a few months ago because she knew that I had deep nostalgia for having all of my allowance money bilked out of me as a child. Judging from von Braunhut's success, I wasn’t the only child suckered by his seductive but very false advertising in comic books, or who had suffered greatly waiting the interminable 4-6 weeks for delivery. My current colony of sea monkeys (brine shrimp in reality) hatched from the freeze dried eggs and thrived for a while, and although the “monkeys” didn’t play ball or adorn their head prongs with bows as implied by the ads (or build a monument in gratitude to me, their feeder and caretaker), they did swim around vigorously, if rather pointlessly. So, I’m not sure what the cause of their demise was. I just had a terrible thought – I hope I didn’t empty out the aquarium prematurely, that there weren’t a bunch of viable eggs in there and a large die-off isn’t part of their natural cycle. Oh, God, I’m a monster.