Charming Sounds of the City

The other day I was having this very serious conversation on a cell phone with my aunt who lives in Texas while I sat outside at a taqueria a few blocks from the library. Every few minutes a fire truck or ambulance would screech by with deafening sirens, or a gangbanger would creep by with bass so loud it would reverberate in my gut, or some asshole motorcyclist with an altered pipe would blat by and conversation would be impossible. We continued being interrupted by various types of city noise pollution, including a cackling bum who asked me for money, but the piece de resistance was a screeching, emaciated prostitute having an altercation with another woman about half a block up from me. I couldn’t tell if it was a territorial dispute but I doubt it because the target of the crack whore’s rage was an earnest young woman girl who looked like a social worker, not a street walker. The crack whore pursued this woman down the street toward me, hurling threats and insults like, “I’m going to kill you, you bitch!” but since the crack whore was missing all of her front teeth it sounded more like, "I'm going to kill you, you bith!" Then this car screeched up and the social worker looking woman jumped in and sped away. I was laughing and trying to describe the scene to my aunt but my aunt, who is very conservative and used to volunteer side by side with our First Lady Laura Bush folding clothes at the Junior League thrift shop in Midland, Texas somehow didn't think the situation was as funny as I did.

I find all of that kind of seedy urban entertainment completely awesome, but I have to wonder what the hell kind of blighted ghetto hell hole my aunt must think I work in.