Friday, November 20, 2009
Regrettably, I think there's nothing funnier than pun heavy/parody porn titles like John and Kate F*ck Eight or The Curious Case of Benjamin’s Butt. (Other favorites: Shaving Ryan’s Privates, Schindler’s Fist, & The Grudge F*ck). Nothing reduces me to helpless laughter faster. I wish that I didn’t have such a childish sense of humor but since I do I knew it was going to be a challenge when a patron called and wanted me to read the long list of urban fiction books she had checked out. Even though years of handling out-of-left-field, peculiar questions from the public have given me plenty of practice in maintaining my composure, I still haven’t reached my ultimate professional goal of being completely unshockable, as imperturbable as one of those world weary priests or cops who have heard and seen it all. So, I grit my teeth, and in the carefully modulated voice of Nurse Ratchet and Hal the Computer began making my way through the list. “Desperate Hoodwives, *69 and Thong on Fire can be renewed, but Riding Dirty on I-95, G Spot: An Urban Erotic Tale and Thug-a-licious…”
At that point one of my eavesdropping colleagues, whom I will never forgive, let out a loud, “HA!”
This set me off, and I had a full blown giggling fit and had to put the patron on hold. After slapping myself a couple of times on the cheek I was able to resume the phone call. I am so thankful that she called and wasn’t there in person because the last thing I would want to do would be to offend someone because I share the same humor as an adolescent male.