Thursday, September 13, 2007

Jive Talking Turkeys 

I can't return my seriously overdue books because...

For religious reasons, I have taken a vow of silence and cannot leave my apartment. (via email)

My landlord will have all of the locks changed if I leave my apartment.

I can’t leave my house! The last time I did the power company demolished my back bedroom with a bulldozer.

I loaned them to a friend and my friend's house was condemned by the city because the house fell off its foundation. I don’t care if they are expensive interlibrary loan books. Are you saying you want me to break the law and endanger my life to retrieve your precious books?? Do you?
(There was a note in her record that she had used tried to use this excuse two years before with a different batch of books.)

... Here's your diagnosis, and, your prescription. Next!
The one about the bulldozer sounds like someone's been reading the beginning of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy a bit much.
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