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Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Trickery! 

Image hosted by Photobucket.comI have always been fascinated by the survival tactics of mimicry, camouflage and deception in the animal and plant kingdoms. Some of my patrons could take a lesson from these species.

A shifty teenager, straight out of central casting for Juvenile Delinquent Gang Banger, came in and asked for DVDs on lock picking. This system does not own any DVDs but there are some reference books, reference because any circulating ones are stolen immediately. I was glad that we didn’t have any material for him, because if he were stopped by the police with those books in his possession, a likelihood considering his demeanor, dress and attitude, he would probably be in big trouble.

Then a man who looked like he spun right out of the "Hey, man, is that Freedom Rock" commercial asked if we had any information on growing plants indoors. "You know what I mean? Like," meaningfully wiggling his eyebrows, "hydroponically?"

Maybe this patron was into to growing roses. His intent for the information is not for me to question or assume, but I had to ask myself why he wouldn't want to be a little more subtle. If you're going to risk growing marijuana, don't look like such a goddamn stoner stereotype. It reminded me of college when couple of my friends discovered the Grateful Dead. When they transformed themselves into slovenly Deadheads with dancing teddy bear stickers plastered all over their car they were actually puzzled when the Virginia Highway patrol would pull them every 10 miles.

The guy who was slyest and smartest about his illegal activities in college was an SAE who looked and dressed exactly like Tucker Carlson. He was the biggest acid and MDMA dealer on campus but flew right under the noses of the administration because of his clean cut appearance and involvement in student leadership activities. I had to admire his excellent employment of mimicry, which certainly let him get away with a lot. I wonder where he is today – probably Congress.

Comments:
I went to a large urban high school and went to a lot of parties. The pep squad types always had the ragers. I saw some crazy shit go down with those quiet ones.
 
Are you sure he didn't become Tucker Carlson?
 
I was wondering about the Tucker thing myself. Perhaps he is off learning more about being a belligerent jerk at T.C.s knee.

Remember, never judge a book by its cover. hahahahaha
 
thank you for referencing Freedom Rock. that is all.
 
I dated a big hairy biker dude who was completely 100% straight - sober, honest, etc.

The next BF was a polo-shirt wearing blonde cutie with a terrible alcohol and drug problem (just finally got sober 20 years later) who let his friends watch us having sex (unbeknownst to me).

But my parents loved the cutie and hated the biker, all because of the way they looked.
 
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