Saturday, February 25, 2006

Trapped in the (water) Closet, Part Two 

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A woman approached the desk, her cheeks red and flustered.

"I was using the bathroom and…and this janitor barged in!”

"I’m really sorry. Wait, the custodian just barged in? Was the stall locked?"

Her eyes shifted to the left. I'm no cop, conman or poker player, but that seems like a serious tell to me. "Uh - the lock was broken! And I begged, "Ma'am, please, I'm trying to use the bathroom! And the janitor said, 'I don't care! I need to refill the seat covers. Let me do my job! Now!' And I begged and I pleaded and she just wouldn't go away! She just kept pushing her way in. And I had my pants down around my ankles. I was helpless! "

“I’m terribly sorry about that, Ma’am. I’ll be sure to report that to the head of custodial services.”

Wow. Doesn’t this woman sound suspiciously similar to the one with environmental sensitivity who complained that the janitor was trying to murder here with dust motes? She made her last complaint over the phone, so no one knew what she looked like, but I have a feeling that she and this woman are one and the same. In any case, this aggressive, overly enthusiastic janitorial behavior is starting to sound like this woman’s personal fantasy fetish to me. That, or our custodial staff is way too gung ho about doing its job.

What is the proper response to someone who would like to indulge this woman in her fetish of choice? I'm just wondering, just in case I meet her--I want to know what not to do or say.
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