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Sunday, February 19, 2006

OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT! 

Image hosted by Photobucket.comI occasionally teach a baaaaasic public internet class. Attendance is a mixture of the cast of Ironweed, cheery seniors and immigrants with limited English. There are also a few senior regulars who faithfully attend class, though they seem to retain no memory or skill from the previous class, even though the content of the class varies little. Each time it seems all fresh and new to them, just like in the movie Memento or 50 First Dates. Teaching class can sometimes be comical and absurd but I love it because they laugh politely at my jokes. I kill.

There was a man sitting on the front row who had the aura of a long term residential hotel occupant. He was hard of hearing, nearly legally blind, and seemed to possess several cognitive problems, including, I suspect, a touch of Korsakoff's syndrome. He brought along a friend to assist him, who repeated every thing I said at the top of his voice.

“SHE SAID, TYPE IN WWW.NYTIMES.COM IN THE ADDRESS BAR!”

The man would squint, press his face close enough to lick the screen and then spastically jerk the mouse off the edge of the table.

"SHE SAID, PUT THE MOUSE POINTER ON THE PICTURE!"

I had to laugh because it reminded me so much of the old Chevy Chase Weekend News Update with Garrett Morris as Headmaster of the New York School for the Hard of Hearing. The man’s devotion to his friend was touching, but extremely disruptive, and I had to ask him to keep it down because he was about to cause a class uprising. The stink eye the elderly Chinese woman sitting next to them shot them made my blood run cold.

Odd story in Garrett Morris’s Wikipedia entry: “During rehearsals for the Kirk Douglas hosted episode, he ran screaming onto the set, saying that someone had put an ‘invisible robot’ on his shoulder who watched him everywhere he went. He pleaded with them to get the robot off of him.” Garrett Morris had been freebasing cocaine heavily at the time, which can bring about all sorts of bizarre delusions, including Capgras syndrome, whose sufferers believe that their bodies have been replaced by robots or an imposter.

Comments:
Generalismo Francisco Franco is still dead.
 
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