Saturday, January 21, 2006


A woman called the library on behalf of her grandson, who had accumulated over $50 of charges for some movies he never returned. In a sweet, quavering voice, the patron's grandmother inquired about what her grandson needed to do to have his borrowing privileges reinstated. The librarian, under the impression that the patron was a child, gave the grandmother some options. She then heard the grandmother carefully relay this information to someone right next to her. The librarian then heard this person, an adult, ask a question, which the grandmother repeated into the phone.

"My grandson wants to know if he can still return the videos and have the charges erased.”

At that moment the librarian noticed from the patron’s record that the grandson was 24 years old.

"Wait a minute, is that your grandson right there? Why don't I just talk directly to him? This might be easier."

"Oh, he refuses to use the phone."

"Excuse me?"

"He doesn't believe in using the phone. He just won't. Doesn't trust it for some reason. I’m not sure why."

"Why don't you just have him come in, then. He'll need to settle this in person, anyway."

The librarian immediately regretted her instructions, realizing that it was best if this patron's record remained suspended so the patron would stay away indefinitely. FBI profilers know that living with one’s mother as an adult male bumps up the weird misfit/ serial killer factor, so I wonder what they would say about a telephonophobic grown man who lives with his grandmother.

I bet he uses the internet though.....
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