Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Meth Thinking 

Image hosted by Photobucket.comA real dirtbag approached the desk.

"Dude - I need some righteous help. I need a recipe," he leaned in, "A recipe, if you know what I mean."

"What kind of recipe?"

"I'm doing some research." His eyes moved about shiftily. "I need a recipe for meth, you know, methamphetamine, and how to go about making it at home. And I need this recipe to be for more than one person."

"We don't have any recipes for the homemade manufacturing of meth, which, as I'm sure you know, is both illegal and highly dangerous. Why don't you try Google."

Yeah, I heard you can find some recipes on the internet. I don't really know how to use it, but one time I needed some lyrics so I went to lyrics.com and found them there. I tried to do the same with methamphetamine.com but it didn't work."

"Sometimes the internet just isn't logical. Why don't you just try putting it in Google as a keyword search. Good luck with that."

My cousin recently did a rotation in the county burn unit in Nashville, which is apparently brimming with careless meth manufacturers. Often patients who suffer extensive skin grafts return again and again with fresh burns. The hospital staff calls these patients 'frequent flyers.'

Meth is truly a scourge. There is a woman who shares my exact name who is a recovering meth addict who is actively involved in jailhouse ministry. During her addiction, social services removed two children from her custody and she almost died, but was saved by Jesus in jail and now serves as a national spokesperson about meth’s evils. If you Google my name she is one of the first to come up. We’re about the same age and I just know old acquaintances who have Googled me mistake her for me.

Google is great that way. From helping up-and-coming drug lords starting their very own metamphetamine labs to finding other people with the same name as you all over the world.
Ahhhh Google, gotta love it. It has all the answers and some of them are even right!
I love the picture with this post. We have some winners like that in our library as well although I have never been asked for a meth recipe.
They should call them frequent fryers.
After reading this post I googled my own name and found a similar situation - apparently I've recently been arrested or drug trafficking and firearms possession. Fantastic :(
Why not direct him to the bathrooms, where he could network with other meth users/dealers? I mean, information is information in any form ;)
An entirely different Nashville 'crystal' experience:

Just contact your local law enforcement's next available class: Cooking Meth 101
This is a case where I'd pretend I didn't know how to use a computer or ever heard of google. I saw a program the other night that people can't even sell homes that had meth labs in the past. They are unsafe.

Dude definitely needs my Thursday Thirteen.
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