Sunday, July 31, 2005

Little Cubicle of Horrors - I Mean Really Cool Shit 

Image hosted by Photobucket.comThe area of the back offices where our cubicles reside has fluourescent lighting that is as hideous and unflattering as that of an airplane lavatory. Although the sickly, yellow light saps my energy and fills me with despair, it is apparently wonderful for plants, because every potted plant in the cubicle farm is thriving and lush. In the offices, even the most delicate hothouse flower is impervious to the blackest of thumbs. Like a Lourdes for plants, there have even been miraculous reports of the light's restorative and regenerative powers. People will bring plants on the brink of death to the office and in a few days they will return to the peak of health. One colleague said that she stuck a stem rose in a vase of water before she left for vacation and when she returned it had sprouted a rat's nest of roots. She transplanted the rose into a pot and it grew into a bush that survives unto this day. My cubicle is one of the few bereft of plantlife so I stopped by the farmer's market and said to hippy plant seller, "I have ten bucks to spend. What are my choices." He showed me a an odd bulbed plant the size of a softball with little bulbs dangling off it like moles, a specimen he identified as a pregnant onion. Although it didn't smell like an onion it did have the same parchment like skin. At first I thought he was being cute; in my botanical ignorance I thought that it was really an onion that was reproducing by budding until I did some research on the internet and found out that it is a succulent and not in the onion family at all. Its most fascinating characteristic is the way it was gravid with other bulbs, which you could see beginning to poke out of the skin in various stages of development. Since I adore curiosities and freaky things, I immediately bought it to decorate my cubicle.

Not to sound like one of those orchid obsessives, but I actually got excited to come to work to see my new plant the next day. It has become quite a conversation piece but mostly because I think my it scares my colleagues. It does look like something from outer space. Are the bulbs that are beginning to drop off parasitic pods intent on enslaving the human race? Only time will tell. In any case, I hope that I haven't caught the bizarre plant bug and end up filling my cubicle with other botanical oddities like carnivorous plants and prehistoric ferns, transforming it a miniature, in-door replica of arch villainess Violet Venable's garden in Suddenly Last Summer

Do the bulbs grow up and become plants? Can you spread the planty weirdness around your circle of friends?
Must...give them...to...all...associates.

One has already dropped off and I have it nestled between two damp paper towels, its 'nursery.' It has your name on it if you want it to keep you company in the lab.
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